Poetry for the Undergraduate Soul

A collection of poetry written by a common student dutifully observing the descent into madness of being stuck in school before the holidays.


There’s a fire across my campus

And everyone is getting burned

Our veins are bubbling rampant

each awaiting our own turn

It’s the days of Final Judgement

Once again prepare the urns

Every single of my class

So, I set a fire on my own ass

for the





Tipsy, turvy, topsy swirly

drizzle on that gravy turkey

rice and pies and vines and knives

I will take my grades on ice

An Ode to Organic Chemistry

O’ organic chemistry, you’ve lost my attraction

It was all fun until we reached the reactions

We tested our relationship and I guess I failed

I was on the right track until the bonds derailed

I guess you wouldn’t be all that hard

If only life followed the rules on Mars.


Shh He’s Sleeping

Quiet! The kid next to you is sleeping

Poor guy, he hasn’t taken a nap since last Tuesday

Last Tuesday?

Yeah, Remember Last Tuesday the Due Date?

I must have slept through last Tuesday!

Quiet! He’s the val. I need him to sleep through this Wednesday.

London Bridge

London Bridge is falling down

It’s been skewing towards the right for the entire semester

London Bridge is falling down

It hasn’t looked this bad since I called the town preacher

London Bridge is falling down

All the king’s horses and all the king’s men

Need to be checked on once and again

Here. Here. here. Here!

And the engineers?

Sir, I’m afraid they have all disappeared!

Poetry in DNA

The greatest poem I ever read

was found in my Genetics textbook

tucked in between chromosomes and pictures of mutated flies

“The reciprocal exchange of broken parts”

A Lesson to the Youngun’s

It  is really that simple, like passing a poo

Don’t go to college until you know what to do.



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